It set me free... =]

I have finally found out what it means to just let go. It seems to me that for all of my life, I believed in love for all the wrong reasons. I thought that by knowing everything about someone, you would also grow to love everything about that person. This, however, is not so. I feel like I've been cheated out of so much, because by giving so much of myself to someone for so long, I will not be able to get any of it back, and therefore will not be able to give these things to someone who may deserve it more. By giving my heart away, I took the chance that it would be mistreated. Now, I'm not blaming anyone for anything, and I will not do that. That is not the point of this. I just hate that I'm so full of regret, because I never wanted to feel that way. I know that everything happens for a reason, but even though I have searched for so long for THIS reason, I cannot find it. I simply can't comprehend any reason why it would be okay to waste so much time on someone who does not deserve it. Maybe I am being foolish, I know that regretting something that is over will not change it. I am okay with leaving it all in the past and never thinking of it again, and maybe that is what really bothers me. I never thought I would reach the day where I just did not care, and here I am, and I mean it so very much. The biggest risk that I've had to take in my life so far is the one I am taking now by just forgetting it ever happened. It did not make me a better person, I am pretty positive of that. Maybe it made me stronger, but as far as I can see... it made me feel weaker than I ever should have to feel. So, why remember it? It was good, and then it was bad, and then it was over. What is left to say? I want to take risks with someone... and I am. And, do you know what? It's pretty amazing to not be scared every day that you're putting yourself out there just so you can get hurt. To love for the right reasons... the reasons that you do not have to explain to yourself, only because you can't, and you feel no need to. It just feels...right, not forced. Maybe that is what I was meant to learn from everything else... there is a difference is what is and what should be. Without having learned all of the things that I do not want, I would have never learned what it is that I really do want, and can get if I just let go and open my eyes to both the things I want to see and the things that I do not. I cannot always turn my head when life doesn't look pretty, and as hard as it is, it is usually the unpleasant things that I learn the most about myself from. Should I thank him? Love him? Hate him? Remember him? Or... just forget he was ever there? As crazy as it is, it just doesn't matter anymore. I know what I feel, and it does not match what everyone else feels. All of the answers that I kept asking have just had a way of answering themselves and I'm perfectly alright with that. When it comes down to it, the more of the ugly and bad parts of life you see... the more beautiful the good parts of life look. And, when you think about it, isn't that what really matters? When it's good, let it be wonderful... and when it's bad, let it go.I lost everything... and it set me free.