I've always been a big dreamer. When you grow up hearing corny things like "reach for the stars" and "you can be whatever you want to be", you almost catch yourself believing all of it.
I always hear my professors talk about being "practical", making reasonable goals, knowing what you CAN do. When did it all change? I thought I could be whatever I wanted. Suddenly, someone is telling me to be practical! To LIMIT myself? Make goals, children, but please... be reasonable. You wouldn't want to have to work hard for anything. After all, a goal IS something that you can EASILY reach, right? When did it become silly to dream? To hope? To have faith in something that isn't so practical? If the world were rid of dreamers, we'd have no movies to look forward to seeing, and no books to read when then world is raining. Nothing to pass the time while we're sleeping. No new ideas. No new inventions. No charities, as they all start from nothing and only dream of making a difference. World peace? Bah. Forget it. Stop dreaming. Be reasonable. Be practical. Isn't that what they're telling us to do?
So, here I am, wondering what I'm worth. When I'm thinking reasonably, I'm almost 20. I'm only halfway through college, and that's just to a bachelor's degree. I'm not the most beautiful girl in the world, and most of my talents are useless to the working world. I'm flawed. I have a temper. I may not ever mean much to anyone. I'm sick a lot. I cry too often. I have bad hair days. I'm just a girl who will never matter to the world as a whole. Because, I'm doing what they say. I'm thinking reasonably. I'm being... practical.
When I let my mind wander, however, I dream of how my love for writing could lead me to adventures in life. I could write a book who could change the lives (even for a minute) of anyone who read it. I could go on to law school! I could be successful. I'll stop getting sick so often. I won't have a reason to cry as much, because my heart won't be empty! I'll feel love and never be without it. I'll have the best hair day ever on a day when I need it! =] Someone will think I'm the most beautiful girl in the world. I'll be a dreamer who is perfectly okay with being just that.
I should re-evaluate the way I rate myself.
2 comments:
All parents have dreams for their children. My dreams for you were to discover your talents, accept your limitations, and rise above your expectations. You have done all of these things.
Thanks for the comment on my blog. As you can tell, those furry creatures bring lots of joy to our home.
I love your writing! You're wrestling with some important concepts, and often life presents those in pairs that seem 180 degrees apart as asks us to sort it all out. I don't know that we ever figure it all out. Life is too short. But, perhaps each of us can find a little piece of the answer, or at least pose a question that spurs someone else on to deeper thought, and share them just as you are doing here. In a time where sharing our thoughts with the whole world has never been easier than now, we can have the grand conversations that make life better for all of us. Thanks for joining in that game!
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