her song :)

remember me as a time of day

William Shakespeare once wrote "Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds. It is an ever fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken. Love alters not with time’s brief hours and weeks, but bears it out even to the edge of doom."

Throughout my life, I have heard that most people do not realize the most significant moments in his or her life while they are happening. Often, it is not until many days after that one is able to recognize just how important a specific moment may be. Sometimes, in just a split second, our lives are changed forever by one decision, one conversation, or one idea. We become comfortable with certain ideas and people. This leads us to take these ideas or people for granted. Most of the time, we do not realize just how important these things are until they are taken from us forever. It is only at this moment that we are able to truly see how much we love and need these ideas, these people, these pieces of our past. These are the moments that build a wall that separates the person one once was from the person that one has now become. Because these moments become such a huge part of who we are, they live for as long as we do. We carry every single part of these significant events in our hearts forever.

At 8:00 A.M. on August 21, 2009, my phone rang. On the other end of the line was someone that I have been close to for many, many years. As soon as I heard his voice, my stomach hit the floor. I have received many of these phone calls over the years, and because of this, I am able to tell immediately when something is wrong. This dear friend of mine said, "Callie and Kyle had a wreck last night, Haley. It is not good. It is not good at all." His voice sounded so far away, almost as if he was covered by a blanket of shock and pure disbelief. All I could say was, "No, no, no... this has to be a rumor. There is no way that this is true." Then, he just started sobbing. The sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach told me that my two friends were not okay. Drew just handed the phone to his mom, and in her warm voice, she said, "Kyle is going to be okay. It isn't good, Haley, but he is going to pull through this. He is at UAB in critical care. I wish I knew more, but I don't have many details on his condition yet." I replied, "What about Callie?" Then, there was a pause. Oh, the dreaded pause... the pause that all mothers take before they say things that they had always hoped they would never have to say. And, I just knew. I did not believe it, but I knew. My fears were confirmed when she said, "She didn't make it...." Her voice just trailed off, and I heard Drew crying in the background. Drew and Callie were inseperable. They both trusted each other with every single part of their being. He was devastated, heartbroken, and shocked. He had just lost his very best friend. And, from that moment on, his life would never, ever be the same.

My phone did not stop ringing all day. Everyone was just floored by what they were hearing. Anyone who had ever met Callie knew that she was truly one of a kind. This beautiful girl was intelligent, driven, hard-working, generous, spontaneous, funny, loyal, understanding, and absolutely 100% full of life. When I say that she LIVED, I really, truly mean it. She did not waste a second of her life feeling sorry for herself or wishing that she had, at some point in time, done anything differently. She never pretended to be anybody other than herself, and while she knew that she was human and made mistakes, she always stood by the people she cared about and the things in which she believed. She made no apologies for being who she was, and because of this, she was respected by all who knew her. This tiny girl could walk into any room with confidence, no matter what anybody said or thought about her. She did not back down when fighting for something that mattered to her. If you never got the chance to meet her, then you really missed out. There will never be another like her on this earth. And, if you did meet her, you will never, ever forget her. We could use more people like her in this world. If she wanted something, she made it happen. She worked hard, laughed hard, loved hard, and fought hard. She put 100% into every single thing that she did. Because she was this kind of person, it was very hard to accept that anything could ever take that spunk, that laugh, and that life out of her. Every time my phone rang that day, it was someone asking, "Are you SURE this happened? How could this be true?" I do not know of one person who did not ask these questions when they heard the tragic news. Losing someone like Callie is a real tragedy, because she never took life for granted. It is the people who really appreciate the beauty of life who deserve to live forever. In a way, though, people like Callie do get to live forever in the hearts and memories of all who loved them. And, that is exactly where Callie is. I see her in the eyes of her very best friends. I hear her in her favorite songs. I feel her when I hug the people that she loved the most. Oh, she is all around us, working just as hard as a guardian angel as she did as a human being.

While the world said goodbye to Callie, Kyle was starting his healing process at UAB. He came out of the wreck with some really serious injuries. I decided to go see him on Saturday, August 22nd. Because he had suffered such a severe concussion, I did not know if he would even be able to recognize his visitors or remember that they had been there after they left. Seth offered to go with me to see Kyle, and we planned to meet Meagan and Wes at the hospital. My stomach was in knots the whole way to Birmingham. Anybody who knows anything about me knows that Kyle has always had my heart. He was my first love, and after dating on and off for over 5 years, he and I had become a concrete part of each other's lives. Even when we were not dating, he was still the first person I called during hard times. I cannot begin to tell you how many hours he sat on the phone while I talked about Brother Larry or Uncle Randall this year. Many times, people do not realize how much it means to someone to just listen to them. That is what he has always done for me. This time, he was the one in need, and there was nothing in the world that could have stopped me from going to that hospital. He would have done the same thing for me. There is no doubt about that.

I walked into his room in the trauma unit at UAB, and when I touched his hand, those beautiful eyes that I have looked into for so many years started to open. He opened his eyes and smiled at me, and for as long as I live, I will never forget the way I felt at that moment. He squeezed my hand, and I knew that he would be okay. The fight in him was as strong as it had always been. It was then that I realized that my life would never be complete unless he was in it. There is nothing more painful than seeing someone that you love with every fiber of your being in this kind of situation. He was unable to remember anything from that night, and everyone thought that it was best to wait and tell him what happened when he was stronger and more stable. While we were all so thankful and happy to see him smile or hear him laugh, we were also very sad, because we knew that we could not protect him from the reality of the situation for much longer. This type of situation is one that comes without directions, and it is heartbreaking to try to make the right decisions concerning how one should handle a tragedy such as this. Kyle and Callie had been friends since childhood, and if someone did not know them, he or she would think that they were brother and sister. When he would ask questions about why he was in the hospital, everyone knew that he wanted to know that everything was okay, that his injuries were the only ones, that all he had to worry about was his recovery... and as badly as we all wanted to be able to say "yes" to each of those loaded questions, we just could not do that. His parents, sisters, and brother never left his side. That family just came together without even a second of hesitation, and they formed a support system strong enough to get through ANYTHING. Seeing this in action showed me exactly what a family should be. I witnessed the strength of their love for Kyle and each other as I came back to the hospital every day. They surrounded him with love and support, and the results were nothing less than miraculous.

Tuesday, August 25th, was my birthday. The day that marked my 22nd year was one full of mixed emotions. Kyle called and told me that they were letting him out of the hospital, which was great news. While his homecoming was a very happy part of my day, someone else that I loved had gone home in a completely different way early that morning. Uncle Randall passed away peacefully after a long, hard battle with lung cancer. I was relieved to know that he was no longer in pain, but after such a hard week, I was not as emotionally stable as I normally would have been. He was such a good man. He had a heart of gold, and there was nothing he enjoyed more than helping those around him. I watched him fight cancer for months, and it is always difficult to see such a strong person lose any kind of battle. I miss him so much. I always will.

Here I am, ten days after the wreck, much wiser than I was a week and a half ago. I understand now just how much one person can change the lives of others. One life can have such a huge impact on the world. I look back at the lives and accomplishments of Callie and Uncle Randall, and I am so proud to have known both of them. I thought about all of the hilarious adventures I had with Callie. I thought about the many days of my childhood spent at Aunt Lou and Uncle Randall's house. I thought about long talks that I had with Callie, and the stories I was told by Uncle Randall. I thought about how they both loved Alabama football. I thought about all of the memories I have with each of them, because sometimes a person must take a few steps back before he or she can take steps forward.

Then, I started to think about the future. I thought about Kyle and the long road he has ahead of him as he heals. I wondered how many dark days may be headed our way. When life surrounds a person with darkness, he or she must decide how to handle it. And, I know that no matter what Kyle goes through in the weeks ahead, he will not have to do it alone. He has all of us there to catch him if he stumbles or falls, and when he goes through things that he has to face alone, we will be there to give him the strength that he needs. Each morning, when we wake up, we have to choose whether to move forward or simply give up. In times like these, when nothing in our lives seems to make any sense, we have to decide what kind of people we want to be. Will we reach out to others? Will we try to fight alone? Will we lose ourselves in the darkness and despair? Will we face our fears with courage? Or, will we move forward? Will we find comfort and hope from an unexpected source? It is only when a person is tested that one finds out what kind of person he or she wants to be. Whatever type of person one wants to be does exist. It can be found somewhere between hard work, heartache, faith, and fear.

"Being loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
Lao Tzu