things that matter

Hello, all. It has been quite a while since I have had time to write. Many things have happened since the last time I posted anything, so I guess I'll take the time to catch you up, just in case you're interested.

I finished my Spanish course in July. It was a semi-sweet moment, though, because my teacher was very unfair to my classmates and I in his grading and teaching techniques. In order to learn half of a Spanish textbook in 4 weeks, a lot of work is involved. We, the students, did not mind doing this work. We thought that it would all pay off in the end. The entire last week of class, when we should have been preparing for finals, our teacher sent us home early so he could "run errands" instead of helping us know what we should focus on in order to make a good grade on the final. I have probably never studied so hard in my entire life. I really put my all into it, and my grade would have reflected it if he had not purposely given everyone a ridiculous "participation" grade that pulled each of our final grades down by an entire letter. I was given a 60/100 in participation, even though I attended class every single day, answered the questions when I was called on, and took incredible notes all during class. His idea of teaching was for us to read the chapter (in a language that HE was supposed to teach us), then come to class and get grilled with questions that we were unable to answer. Evidently, in his eyes, participation means getting everything right without having first been taught the material. At first, I thought that I was the only one that had been cheated out of the grade that I deserved, but the majority of my classmates were just as angry as I was about the same thing. To top it all off, he gave me a 0/100 for homework. First of all, we only had 5 homework assignments in the four weeks that we were in there. Second, I turned in EVERY SINGLE ONE of them and didn't get an ounce of credit. I worked hard enough to get an A in the class. I deserved AT LEAST a B in the class. However, even after I go to talk to the dean, the highest I can probably get is a C. I don't deserve a C, and neither did anyone else in my class. The class average for the final grade was a 61. What does that tell you about the teacher? JSU needs to get their foreign language department in control, or everyone is going to have to transfer in order to graduate when they deserve.

I'm now taking two new courses. The first one is Spanish 102, and I'm taking it from a professor who was hired originally to teach French. He is a great teacher! He really helps us learn the material together. He prepares us for the tests. He gives a lot of extra credit, and I feel like he would go way out of his way to help any student that is having a hard time. He truly cares enough to help every student get whatever grade he or she deserves. Those are the kinds of teachers that are huge inspirations for me. I look forward to seeing the outcome of this class. I believe I will finally get the kind of grade that I work so hard for. My other class is an online history course. The teacher is both kind and fair. Since many of us ordered our books from the internet, some of us did not have our textbooks in time for the first test. She was generous enough to give us an extension so that we could all be successful in this class. She is compassionate, and I really do appreciate how understanding she was to everyone about the textbook situation. There are many great teachers out there. Unfortunately, there are just as many teachers who do not care about their students at all. Either way, I have a clearer picture of what kind of teacher I'd like to be one day.

In other news, I was very sick last week. I threw up constantly, ran a high fever, and barely had enough energy to hold my head up. But, I studied very hard, took my test, and I made a B! To some, a B may not sound like anything to be excited about, but in my eyes, it is. I am proud of myself and am more motivated than ever to continue to keep that good grade. I will be successful this time. I will not let anything get in my way. I went to the doctor Wednesday after my test, and I was informed that the "bronchitis" I thought I had a few weeks ago was actually strep, and because it wasn't treated, it spread to my kidneys, where it is now causing trouble. I am resting, taking my medicine, and trying to keep up the fluids. I am just going to keep pushing myself as hard as I can. I know that one day, in some way or another, all of this will be worth it. That's what I have been telling myself all year. It's all okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

Russell starts his new job at a pharmacy in Anniston on Monday. He'll be working as a pharm tech, which is a good job for a college student. He will be paid very well, and I know that he and I will both enjoy being able to do nice things for ourselves sometimes. The stress level in this house is to the roof at this point, but things will get better. I just need to keep praying for brighter days. Until then, I'll dream about how blissful summers used to be, while I kick myself in the rear for not beieving everyone that told me how quickly those years would fly by.

I know I have a lot on my plate right now, but I can handle it. If this year has taught me anything, it is that love can overcome all obstacles. I may not have much in my life, but I have always had an abundance of love. This will sustain me. This will give me the strength that I need. I can't lose faith. I cannot EVER lose faith. God is here. He has not forgotten about me.

Please continue to pray for my loved ones that are ill. I check my email every single day hoping to read news of a miracle. I will not stop doing this. I believe in miracles. Like Journey says, "Don't stop believing!" Oh, I won't. I won't ever stop.

HLT