Thursday, January 17, 2008

what I learned on the worst day of my life

I wrote this on November 28, 2006. It was one of the worst days of my life, and I really learned a lot about strength, patience, and just how far you can push yourself to go. =]



Today was difficult for me. Although many may think they understand why it was hard, most cannot and never will. It is a unique experience for everyone who takes the path I have and all who are touched on the way. I am thankful, however, to have learned a few things in my journey that has currently reached a new point. I've met many people whom without I would not have reached and surpassed the obstacles that I've come across so far. Thank you all for being amazing. I am so very glad to have you all in my life. I figured out today that if something did happen, I'd be okay. I'd be okay with the life I've had so far. Don't take this as me saying I'd like to give up on life, because that's far from the point I'm making. It's just that everyone reaches a certain point during the transition from childhood to adulthood where you understand that life is not guaranteed. In fact, nothing at all is guaranteed. Friendship is not. Love is not. Jobs are not. Money is not. Happiness is not. Health is not. None of these things MUST be given to us. But, I've had all of these. And, as of today, the simple fact that I've had these things at least once in the short 19 years I've been here is enough. This feeling of satisfaction is new. Every feeling I've had today was new because I'd never felt it under such circumstances. Less than favorable things are always going to happen and these are nothing short of chances to expand your heart. I'm questioning God and instead of knowing that I won't recieve answers, I'm waiting on them. Patiently. My heart is growing. My outlook is altered. I'm growing and learning and doing both because I want to. I need to.
I'm calling in my soul to come and see.

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